Saturday night, after years of waiting, I got to see The Rise of Starwalker.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m an emotional mess on a regular day, so I spent a good chuck of the movie weepy. I’ll explain later.
However, let me start this off with a few important background notes:
· I am generally a black and white fan. Either I like something or I don’t. I don’t know why I’m this way. I’ve always been. I don’t actually care if someone dislikes something I like, and I don’t care why you DON’T like it. The only exception to this rule is Jupiter Ascending, which I hated, but can’t stop watching or researching. It’s an oddly specific type of torture. It may be Eddie Redmayne. I LOVED Eddie Redmayne in that movie.
· I ABSOLUTELY LOVED The Last Jedi. Beyond like or dislike, I will defend The Last Jedi to the death. And again, I’ve been debating TLJ haters for the better part of two years and I simply do not care about their opinions anymore. I…what do you want me to do with your hate? Build you a holocron?
· I’ve been basically living off A03 Reylo Fanfiction for the better part of a year.
Early, when The Force Awaken came out, I was made to feel ashamed of INSTANTLY pointing out the chemistry and thus shipping Rey and Kylo, so I kept quiet—silly me. NEVER AGAIN.
· I liked The Rise of Starwalker. I did. Okay. I said it. My mutual are going to kill me.
The Last Jedi
This movie was not perfect, not by a long, long shot. I would have much preferred Rian Johnson stay as the director. And here is the only salient fact I’ll point out about The Last Jedi. Rian was making a specific point to open up the possibilities of Jedi and Sith and the world at large. You could have a misguided, tortured villain and it still lie within grey areas. You could have a hero who came from nothing (he said and I paraphrase:
The Force is all around us. It doesn’t belong to any single person or ideology. The force is apart of everyone and a power force user can come from anywhere.
You could introduce grey areas that show the New Republic was like any other government, that it engaged in the same class and social recidivism that it claimed to vanquish.
This is fact, as confirmed by both directors—JJ didn’t really know where he wanted to go with this, so when Rian took over, he was given almost no guidance. He was allowed to do what he wanted.
It literally blew the fandom in two—we can talk about how TOXIC this fandom is later. Much, much later. So, it seems to me and a shitload of other fans that JJ bowed to the Fandom Menace (yes, there is a group of Star Wars fans out there who have made it their mission to hate everything connected to the sequel trilogy. They are responsible for Kelly Marie Tran’s harassment, caused Daisy Ridley to delete her social media) and tried to undo EVERYTHING Rian laid down.
I don’t know WHO decided two directors were necessary, but considering that JJ played every fandom trope he could find in The Force Awakens, to have The Last Jedi totally abandon that and give us the most original story––save the original––it’s a shame that JJ thought he needed to reverse what was considered canon to please a bunch of assholes.
NOW. That being said:
THE BAD
OVERSTUFFED PLOT
I swear this isn’t a JJ Abraham shitpost. He made some really good decisions––I mean he hired a romance consultant for Reylo. It’s just that he stuffed so much shit into this movie that I’m sure if we got a glimpse of his beat sheet––A beat sheet is a tool that writers use to help them plan and sequence their story—had to have like 970 bullet points. Like MY GOD, MAN!
With The Last Jedi, we went to the characters because they were stationary in a cinematic sense. Ben on The Finalizer, Rey on Ahch-to, The Resistance floating in space, Rose, Finn, Poe on Canto Bight. This gave time for the point to be the meat of the story and the development of the characters, building off The Force Awakens.
Since, with the final installment of a trilogy that isn’t setting up a next one, but finding closure for the last one, you can be plot heavy as long as it serves the character and the world being built around it. JJ was like FUCK IT. I want everything to be addressed, and I ain’t gotta explain shit until I feel like it!
I got whiplash.
I know this was all done to give the big three a big adventure but hell! They didn’t stay in one place long enough for me to even remember the name of wherever the hell they were at!
Finn
Finn’s everlasting devotion to Rey. A one-sided mess. Now we all learned fairly recently (BECAUSE THE FILM DIDN’T RESOLVE THIS) that Finn was NOT going to tell Rey he loved him, but that he was Force Sensitive. This…literally doesn’t fucking matter. It’s not a resolution point for Finn.
It shows you didn’t think enough of Finn’s character to either have him finally exhibit that power OR show that Force Sensitives are not required to show that off. The OPTICS were, he was going to tell Rey he loved her. The optics. Which meant a black man spent three fucking movies chasing around a white woman who had absolutely no feelings for him outside of platonic. When there was Poe, when there was Rose, hell, when there was Jannah!
Rose
I am beginning to think that JJ hated Rose. I mean the dude from The Lord of The Rings, new character for no reason, by the way, had more lines than she did. The dude from the SHIRE.
It’s his hate for her that he held her at the Resistance Base. It makes logical sense. Rose is mechanic. They got ships that need to be fixed.
HOWEVER, Rose is not the only mechanic.
If Rose can run on faithiers and battle her way to freedom deep inside First Order territory, she can go on a tailwind adventure with the other characters. This sure would have given JJ an opportunity to develop FinnxRose OR definitely squash it with FinnxPoe. But…mechanic.
Note: Oscar Isaac is so annoyed with the fact that FinnxPoe was not explored that he can’t shut up about it. He couldn’t get through a press interview without mentioning it. He’s REALLY annoyed.
Sith/Sidious
For the love of GOD, If you’re gonna do Sith, DO SITH. Holocrons, Rule of Two, Rule of One, Massassi warriors, actual darksider magic, THE ACTUAL SITH CODE!
Here’s the thing. Darth Sidious’s master was Darth Plagueis—the man who could literally manipulate midicholrians. It’s rumored (although Lucasfilm wants it “ambiguous”) that he was the reason behind Anakin’s birth. Dark side messy shit. And since it’s never been detailed HOW he does what he does, canonically, you can literally do whatever you want with that information.
So, there was no reason to have Sidious hooked up to a machine. A Sith wheelchair, yes, maybe a Sith walker? But he’s just floating around like a carnival toy stuck on a claw. He is a MASTER of the darkside and they have so much healing capabilities that it makes no logical sense to have him on the Sith version of life support.
His plan
His plan, which kind of makes sense if you take two steps back and squint, makes no sense up close. I like the fact that HE has been the one in Ben’s head from jump. However:
· Manipulate Ben Solo, have the entire world think he was the one who burned down the Skywalker Temple and killed the padiwans (THANKS RISE OF KYLO REN!)
· Turn him into Kylo via your Sith puppet Snoke
· Have him repeatedly try to kill Rey, your granddaughter, who you actually need to be revived?
· No, no, take that back. Turn her to the dark side.
· No, kill her
· TURN HER!
· NO. I need you BOTH here because…
Granted, that could all be Kylo Ren mind manipulation. He’s been doing it since Ben could walk. But Jesus, it looks like his brain was melting.
Knights of Ren
What a gross–and I don’t say this lightly–misuse of the Knights of Ren.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Let me explain the Knights of Ren to you. They are a post-war entity arisen after the death of the Sith. They are not Jedi, they are not Sith. They are beholden but to one person—The Master of the Knights of Ren. Not Sidious, not The First or The Final order. The Master of the Knights of Ren.
Currently, the motherfucking Master of the Knights of Ren is Kylo Ren/Ben Solo.
THEY HAD ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO ATTACK HIM. Hell, they didn’t even talk! Why didn’t they talk? They would have at LEAST questioned their FUCKING MASTER before jumping him. I believe Sidious could have gotten to one of them. ALL OF THEM?
WHO WROTE THIS? WHERE IS RIAN JOHNSON?!
Zorri Bliss
I love Kerri Russell. I do. I love her. Got me through college with Felicity. She is a gem.
Zorii Bliss is an absolutely useless character.
Here’s a writey—McWritey—thing. Introducing new character in the third act of your third act is NOT ADVISABLE. Unless they are integral to completing the story, they have no place,they take up space. They are useless.
Zorii Bliss existed for two reasons: They needed another planet to visit on JJ’s 40 Planet World Tour AND JJ wanted to force confirm Poe’s heterosexuality. That’s it.
SPEAKING OF. THAT 32 MILLISECOND LONG KISS DOSE NOT QUALIFY AS LBTQ representation Jeffrey Jacob Abrams, what in the absolute hell.
That fucking useless epilogue
Here is what pissed me off the most. JJ consumed 3/3.9ths of the film with the plot stuff. Makes sense kinda but when you’re dealing with the end of a trilogy, stuff has to be CONCLUDED. So, they fit the entire epilogue in a 7-minute cut.
Finn is left just…floating in the space of endless shrugs with literally nothing be added to his story.
JJ double downs on Poe’s heterosexuality BECAUSE THAT WAS IMPORTANT GUYS.
Rose is given nothing. Nothing.
Chewie NEVER actually sees Ben.
Rey just lost the love of her life. Her literally soul mate. A person with who her connection to was SO FUCKING STRONG that Sidious upended half the world to get a hold of. And they give them literally 2 minutes to finally give in to this thing they’ve been chasing for three movies, he dies, and REY DOES NOT MOURN HIS DEATH (see way below). She doesn’t see his Force Ghost (SEE WAY BELOW); she doesn’t bemoan the fact that the man who knows the inner dwellings of her soul is gone. That her head is empty. She doesn’t even give the man a grave. WHAT THE FUCK. You know what? WHERE IS RIAN JOHNSON?!
You know how they could have honored the only romantic relationship to actually be explored at length?
Rey Solo
Rose and Titanic it. But no. This is supposed to be the END of the SKywalkersaga but Rey Skywalker? Then have her return to the one place that has caused her “Skywalker family” the most grief? Anakin and Shmi? Slaves. Cliegg–died of heartbreak. Owen and Beru—murdered and their house burned to ashes.
You had her return THERE?!
Rey was supposed to be a woman standing on her own power. That a strong Jedi could come from anywhere, that it was not inherently connected to existing power. It was the whole reasons why Rey WASN’T a Skywalker (or Kenobi) to begin with. She was supposed to have come from nothing, and achieve great things.
Again
Making her a Palpatine was a cool idea. BUT, HOWEVER, saying her power comes directly from her Sith grandpappy’s balls to stick it to the feminist just kicks the legs out of 3/4ths of Rey’s character.
Whew. That was painful.
THE GOOD
Comedy
This movie was FUNNY. Finn and Poe are actually very funny together. Their comedic timing was *chef’s kiss* and you could see the friendship there. That they’d spent the most time together out of basically everyone in the movie. It was the most SOLID relationship there. (Probably, because like Isaac said, it had the makings of something romantic and deep and…yep unexplored).
HUX
Poor Hux
Hux died. The thing is, Hux was never taken seriously. He could have been but no. Either way, he needed to die. Hux was a TERRIBLE person. He and his father were responsible for the kidnap a kid Stormtrooper program. He had his dad killed just because. He was a whiny sniveling dork (and I loved him). And he did. And he died because he helped the Resistance. THAT’S FUNNY. His personal hate for Kylo Ren got him killed.
Sith
Even though it was a…poor attempt (like a football stadium of Sith ghost?????) I do like the fact they attempted to bring more Sith lore to the forefront. Sith is now a way of life, so at no point do I think the Sith will ever die out. Given that I know more about The Sith than JJ Abrahams, I know it could have been done better. But…at least…yeah.
LEIA
When The Last Jedi came out, I had a bunch of knuckle draggers crying to me about how Leia shouldn’t have force powers.
SHE FLEW. flew.
THROUGH SPACE?
In a movie about magic space monks?
HOW?! WHAT MAGIC IS THIS?!
It literally doesn’t make sense that she would NOT have force powers--HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FAMILY? All they produce is ridiculously high-powered force users. OF COURSE, SHE CAN USE FORCE POWERS. So, to see that she actually trained as a Jedi was *multiple chef kisses*. Again, I know this was done to please The Last Jedi naysayers, but at this point, anything to shut them up on that one particular part of the plot, I’ll take.
The cinematography
All hail Dan Mindel!
Palpatine
It WAS crazy that everyone kept calling Palpatine, Palpatine. At some point, it was revealed he was the Sith Lord behind the Empire. They don’t call Anakin, Anakin. They call him Darth Vader. Why wouldn’t they call Palpatine the name he EARNED. BECAUSE BRUH, he showed the fuck out when he unleashed that damn Force Lightening into the sky. I have never seen anything like that in my entire life.
Adam Driver
adam.
mother.
fucking.
douglas.
goddamn
driver.
he has consistently acted his entire ass off across the span of three movies. I’m not saying he carried the EMOTIONAL element of the series on his back—actually, yes, I am. Not that Daisy didn’t do her thing, baby girl ABSOLUTELY fucking did, but every scene I cried, there was a 90% chance of involving Adam Driver. I could probably hold a master class just on how he emotes with his face. how he showed emotion while wearing a mast 50% of the movie. how anakin was a bit…whiny, how darth was nothing but bad ass but adam was a very well emulsified mix of the two.
NOTE: If his wife needs a sister wife, I am SUPER available to discuss a schedule. Let her know.
Reylo
I…uh…just realized his scar is gone. What?
Clears throat.
REYLO END GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME I TOLD YOU BITCHES! I TOLD YOU! I TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOU! I had charts and pictures and theories and ya’ll wagged your fingers and turned up your nose AND I WAS RIGHT.
Look, there is a romance in every Star Wars movie. Anakin and Padme. Leia and Han. Rey and Ben. I don’t know HOW or WHY you thought she was going to end up with Finn, that is a pointless ship, it doesn’t lend anything to the plot. There has always been a sizzling chemistry between the two of them. JJ hinted at it, Rian EXPLORED THE ABSOLUTE FUCK OUT OF IT, and JJ confirmed it.
Bow.
Down.
To.
Me.
The GREY EXISTENTIAL STUFF
korriban/moraband
Why are they on Exlcu…Exlclus…what is the name of that planet again? Anyways, was I amped about the introduction of the Knights of Ren, you damn right. Sidious? ABSOLUTELY. But imagine, folks, IMAGINE if Sidious had been hiding out on Korriban.
Korriban/Moraband is the home world of the Sith. Could you imagine if this last battle had been there? Or going back even further, what if Rey’s dark vision came because of actual Sith holocrons or The Valley of the Dark Lords? A place DRENCHED in the dark side. Holy—I get excited even thinking about it!
Overstuffed pizza and hope
I am troubled by the fact that so much was stuffed into this movie. In my heart, it could have been two movies. Honestly. HONESTLY. JJ introduced some things that if explored, could have been awesome. I mean, let’s slow this car down baby!
Who SAID it had to be a trilogy?
I would have waited for a fourth installment. Like I’ve waited for everything else. I WOULD HAVE WAITED.
Like Jannah’s story could have been expanded. More Rey and Ben force face timing. Ben actually training Rey to face Sidious. More time to build up to Leia just walking off and dying (AND YES, I UNDERSTAND WHY THAT DECISION WAS THE DECISION but I’m saying if Maz was able to discern what Leia was going to do, then you have room to grow that in conversation without involving Leia).
OR remove some of the plot points and locations and hone in on the characters…like Rian Johnson did.
Again…WHERE IS RIAN JOHNSON?
BEN SOLO
I love you with all my heart, Solo.
ALSO WHERE IS HIS SCAR?!
As mentioned, I am a Reylo. I also walked into this movie knowing the probability of them having a happily ever after was slim.
There weren’t many ways for Ben to live without Leia. If Leia lived, then yes. The respect she had within The Resistance, her legacy, her influence could have stopped them from executing Ben.
Rey could have flown him to some world in Wild Space and decided to live her life with him.
VERY POSSIBLE OUTCOMES THAT I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED.
But Leia died, and with that, really Ben’s only path to survival. I knew Ben was in deep, inescapable shit when he took off his mask in The Last Jedi.
I know this. I am also deeply saddened that he actually died. This is an understatement. I cried on and off for 24 hours.
He did deserve more. He did deserve someone to recognize his contribution to the Resistance winning. He deserved someone to recognize that he saved Rey’s life. He deserved REY to recognize and honor that he gave his life so she could live.
MAYBE there is a reason she doesn’t do this.
(see below)
But I am glad he redeemed himself. I am glad that he was able to, in some parts, forgiving himself for aligning himself with his mother’s enemy, and his father’s murder. I am glad.
I also know that one of the overarching themes of Star Wars is No One is Ever Really GONE. When he disappeared, I don’t know where he went. I don’t know if he caused himself to vanish—the whole Force Taxi Transmission HAS been a theme). I don’t know because JJ never addressed it—it is fair to say this may have been his intentions. Ben is absolved of his crimes AND gets to live as a new person. Ben Solo does but Ben gets to live elsewhere. Maybe he is on Tatooine. Maybe he isn’t. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.
The one fascinating thing about it being ambiguous is FANFICTION.
Fanfiction writers will save this. Fanartist will save this. We can now write cannon—inspired epilogues that include explanations on Rey’s lack of mourning.
she knows he is alive
She has no reason to completely ignore what happened on Exlu…Exle…whatever that planet’s name was BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE KNOWS. That…
Their story is not over with
That’s what I’m going forth with. That’s what I was left with.
Because I set my expectations going in, the fact that my ship was CONFIRMED, the fact that there is then sense of ambiguity, I can be both heartbroken AND have hope.
I like that a little.
Still, they deserved more on screen. To my dying breath, they deserved more on screen.
The Rise of Skywalker wasn’t perfect. I think both JJ Abraham and Chis Terrio (co-writer of TROS) would have had a better reaction IF they’d honored some of the ground Rian Johnson broke. If they hadn’t tried to overstuff it because it was a big budget, highly anticipated film. If they’d at least consulted him more on the romantic aspects of it.
However, I still liked it. I enjoyed it. I freaking cried most of the movie. I was excited, and mostly pleased, despite the fact that there were MAJOR MAJOR things that could have been done differently. And isn’t that with every movie? There aren’t many perfect movies out there and I think with Star Wars fans, we’ve come to all develop different expectations of what its supposed to be. Expectations that will never meet the needs of every fan.
It’s time to accept that.
